I am not a counselor. I don’t even believe in marriage counseling – I am a guy who believes in marriage. And couples have been coming to me for the last eight years for relationship coaching, seeking biblically principled brutal honesty to help improve their relationships. I believe in husband coaching and wife coaching. I coach couples on how to be better husbands and how to be better wives. When both are better, or working on being better, the marriage is automatically better.
How do I get husbands and wives to be better husbands and wives? I don’t take B.S. from a husband or a wife. I don’t do “Complaining About My Spouse” sessions. When I am talking to a husband, we are talking about the husband. When I am talking to a wife, we are talking about the wife. When spouse A becomes perfect then we can talk about spouse B. It’s my goal to help couples understand that there is nothing wrong with the institution of marriage. When the marriage is rocky, couples need to understand that something is wrong with that raggedy husband or that raggedy wife, not the marriage. Stop blaming “marriage.”
Recently I was asked a very interesting question by my co-host Tamara Derouselle on the “Divorce Is Not An Option Podcast.” Tamara asked, “What topic is the most difficult to discuss with couples that come to you for relationship coaching?” I took a moment to consider topics such as finances, cheating, communication and sex but I don’t find any of those topics difficult to discuss. All of these topics for the most part have an identifiable bad spouse. Bad spouse is spending all the money. Bad spouse cheated. Bad spouse lacks good communication skills. I can shake my finger at the bad spouse and say, “Hey, bad spouse, DO BETTER!” POOF! Marriage better. But there is one topic that is always difficult to discuss.
A 2011 Ohio State study found that weight gain of about 20 pounds is average among people who get married. The topic that I have the most difficulty discussing is weight gain. During relationship coaching sessions I have had to tell both men and women to lose weight. Increasingly men. . . Please click on the link below to continue reading this article on Ebony.com