5 Things We Can Do Better in Relationships in 2012

Steven James Dixon January 9, 2012 Comments

Relationships were jacked up in 2011. The way in which man and woman relate in 2012 can only get better right? Right? Anyone with me? Can I get an AMEN? “5 Things That We Can Do Better In Relationships In 2012”:

5. Get Out of Your Bad Relationship – *New Rule Alert* – If your relationship needs counseling and you are not married don’t get married to that person. We need to have higher standards for getting married and even greater standards on getting a divorce.

*New Rule Alert* – Divorce is not an option but if your spouse refuses to go to counseling, divorce them. Every married couple needs to have a counselor on speed dial. If you are in a bad marriage it is not going to get better on accident, get some help or get out! If your spouse won’t go to counseling here is what you do: Go to counseling by yourself. Each time after counseling go home and give your spouse a summary of the counseling session that you just left. After your spouse hears you say, “The counselor asked me . . . what was I thinking when I married you?” OR “The counselor said that ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN OUR MARRIAGE ARE YOUR FAULT!” After your spouse gets an ear full of that for three weeks in a row either he or she will file the divorce papers themselves or they will go to counseling to defend themselves. In 2012 will have to end these bad relationships.

4. Forgive & Heal – After getting out of your bad relationship sit down somewhere. Don’t date for a while. Work on you. Your first item of business is to forgive the people related to all of your bad relationship experiences. You cannot carry anger, frustration, disappointment or resentment into your next relationship. If you cannot forgive, relationships are not for you because without forgiveness healing does not take place. Healing is the process of filling the holes in your heart. If your heart has holes in it, don’t nobody want dat raggedy heart.  In 2012 get your heart right before trying to offer it to some one else.

3. Date Smarter This Time – Initially dating is a process of elimination. Once you have eliminated the thugs and skrippers dating becomes a process of selection. Date on your level. 90% of women want to date the top 10% of men. The numbers don’t add up because the top 10% of men want to date the top 10% of women. Don’t expect anything that you can’t give. Opposites attract on Fantasy Island but in reality it is very difficult to compromise with a person that has a different belief system than you do. You know your flaws. Worry about those instead of theirs. Accept the fact that both nobody is perfect and that includes you. With the knowledge of your own imperfections, it should make it easier to accept the imperfections of someone else. In 2012 the key to relationships will be knowing what you can accept and live with and what you can’t.

*Note to men – we have to stop putting women in the top ten percentile based on looks alone.

 

Listen to Steven’s interview on this article with Twanda Black of Kiss 104 Atlanta.

 

 

2. Define What You Want Out of A Relationship – More and more people are shaping their relationships based on something that they saw or read by some supposed relationship expert. Stop listening to them unless it’s me. If you just want sex then you can skip this tip. If he wants sex and you want more he does not have more to give you. You just met, she wants a relationship, that’s not going to work. “Open Marriages” are stupid. You don’t have to have a threesome. Husbands can be faithful and wives can be submissive but each person has to clearly define what they want out of a relationship before they are in a relationship. This definition should not change based on the person. You should approach a relationship in the same fashion that you approach a job. It is called a “Job Search” for a reason. You are looking for the perfect fit. A job that you enjoy, that has benefits, where you receive appreciation for you work. Know that you need the same stuff out of a relationship. Our goal for 2012 is to have a more effective “Relationship Search.”

1. Respect OPP – Ok, men are cheating at an alarming rate. Men have been cheating for years but the difference is that in years past it was the men who were pursuing these affairs. Now-a-days women aren’t even ashamed of sleeping with married men. And women, I can’t get an accurate count on how many of y’all are cheating because y’all are too sneaky. There are millions of single people. In 2012 let’s try to leave the married people alone. Let’s respect other’s people’s property. How would you feel if your husband was sleeping with someone else? How would you feel if your wife was sleeping with someone else? Is it so difficult for you to put yourself in someone else’s shoes? Do you count the lives that you destroy when you take a spouse from their family? Do you care about other people? If we can do one thing better in relationships in 2012 please let it be that we are going to respect other people’s property.

 

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Comments

  1. […] Read the other 2 things that we  We Can Do Better in Relationships in 2012! […]

  2. Bebee says:

    You’ve done it again sir! Preach!

  3. Teresa says:

    Great article!

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  6. Reauchean says:

    WHAT A WORD!!!!!! NOW HOW MANY WILL ACT LIKE THEY KNOW?

  7. […] Read the other 2 things that we  We Can Do Better in Relationships in 2012! […]

  8. Nikita says:

    AMEN!!!!! You know just what to say! Do you know your worth to your fan base? You’re Appreciated a BUNCH!!!!!

  9. Surina says:

    I salute U Steven let the church say Amen!

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  11. Jay says:

    Wisdom!!!!! Thanks Mr. Dixon!

  12. Cherise says:

    My DOOD! U said THAT!

  13. Nelly says:

    I really love your article Steven, great Job keep it up and going.

  14. Vanessa says:

    Lessons well taken… to follow and continuing the process. Wonderful!

  15. Ipeleng says:

    Very Informative–funny too..Thanx Mr!

  16. Tara says:

    When are you writing a 2nd book !?!

    1. My next book is called “Love Capacity” and it will be out in June. Visit http://www.LoveCapacity.com.

  17. charity says:

    You new everyday man!!!!

  18. […] Read the other 2 things that we  We Can Do Better in Relationships in 2012! […]

  19. […] Read the other 2 things that we  We Can Do Better in Relationships in 2012! […]

  20. Andrea says:

    Very good Sir Steven! I just need some clarity on one thing: DIVORCE! If this shouldn’t be an option, then why are you suggesting it in step #5? I’ve listened to a number of people (experts like yourself) and had they taken this advice, they would NOT be married Now! Can you pleae elaborate a bit on this? Thanks!

    1. Steven James Dixon says:

      @Andrea – It pained me to say it but I am tired of spouses complaining to me about their spouses not doing anything to make the marriage better. I believe that all couples should have a counselor on speed dial.

  21. […] Read the other 2 things that we  We Can Do Better in Relationships in 2012! […]

  22. Patricia says:

    Just in time . Thank you for helping me think about somethings before I jumped into my next marriage…… looking forward to the book in june!

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