Much too often I talk to males who have no idea what being a man is about. Too many males have never had a man in their life to learn from or compare themselves to. My wife and I were at dinner the other day and we were laughing about how competitive my five year old son is with his father. We were laughing until it dawned on us that this competition between father and son is the beginnings of the construction of his man. My son and I compete on everything. Who runs the fastest, who can bring mommy a snack that she likes, who is the strongest and toughest, who mommy loves the most, who can win the basketball game, who gets a kiss from mommy first. The competitions that we have are learning opportunities for my son. My son is going to learn more from me indirectly than he ever will learn from me directly. For the grown boys out there who have yet to become men, here are two things to look for when you “Check Your Male.”
1. Love Your Family
My wife is my rib. My son is my seed. The keyword in those statements is “MY”. I love “MY” family. I live for them. Nothing outside of them comes close to them. They come first at all times. There is no competition because they are “MY” family. When I say “MY” I don’t mean “MY” as in possession. I mean “MY” as in protection. They don’t know it but they live in a bubble. Secure. RIGHT NOW I am writing this article in the bushes across the street from my son’s daycare. RIGHT NOW I am writing this article from the 17th floor of the office building that is *catta-cornered to my wife’s place of employment. Scope. Strapped. Loaded. Watching & writing. Writing & watching. Hold up . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ok, I am back. There was a disagreement a couple cubes down from my wife. I will wipe out everyone if necessary. All men should feel like this about their families. My son is learning from me how to love a woman. My son is learning from me that loving a woman is cool. My son is learning from me that loving a woman is not something to be ashamed of. You chose her (wife). You made them (kids). What is wrong with you if you don’t love them? Do you love yourself?
2. Provide For Your Family
The next thing that my son will learn from me is that daddy provides. He does not understand the value of money but he does know that daddy got it. That daddy gets it! That daddy is perfectly fine with giving it to mommy. That daddy is perfectly fine with spending it all on him. My son is going to learn that a man provides for his family.
I was counseling a couple the other day and the wife had a stank attitude. Normal. She had a legitimate complaint about the financial stability of the husband. Dude was bad with the money. I am not a financial guy but I figured that I would talk to dude about money. The first thing that I said to him was, “Why is your wife worried about money?” He made some excuses I ignored them. I said to him that in no uncertain terms is your wife supposed to be worried about how the household bills are going to get paid. I did not say that a woman should not pay bills or that a man should pay all the bills. I am not talking about a shopping or entertainment budget. I am talking about the mortgage, the rent, the utilities, the car, the life insurance, THE BILLS!
Let me be clear. My wife and I have agreed upon a certain amount of money that she gives to the household to help pay bills each month. When she gives me that money, I guarantee her that all bills are to be paid. ALL. She need not worrying her pretty little self about when, what, how, howcome, who. ALL BILLS PAID. I AM MAN ALL DAY. This is what a man does. This is the purpose of man. If man does not provide, he is not a man, he is a male and he needs to check his male. I take a lot of pride in being a man. I take a lot of pride in being responsible for LaMechia LaChelle Dixon, my boo. Ethan Jacob Dixon looks up to me and I look out for him. My son thinks that I am a millionaire. Not because he has fancy toys, but because he has no worries. Daddy provides.
To the men who are incapable consistently paying the bills . . . let your woman cash your check. To the men who don’t have no check to cash, lay down in the street. (My apologies to the men who are diligently looking for employment. Having said that, I can’t think of an excusable reason that I would allow myself to have for not providing for my family. Daddy provides.) If you are not getting a check in the mail then you need to “Check Your Male.”
Loving your family and providing for your family merely graduates you from male to man. You are a man now, congrats! But you mustn’t become complacent. I talk to too many men that have not maxed out on the talents that God has blessed them with. All of us have talents but many of us are lazy. It is within all of us to become great men and it is never too late to start being great. There are millions of males. There are a lot of men but there are very few great husbands. Every day I meet brilliant men who dedicate themselves to being the best lawyer or doctor or rapper or actor or athlete but there are not enough men that are dedicating themselves to being the best husband or father. If your focus is on something besides one of those two then you need to “Check Your Male.”