The Relationship Report – “5th Anniversary – No Sex For Single Women Day: First Tuesday in September”

Steven James Dixon September 5, 2011 Comments

The first Monday in September is Labor Day. Labor = Work. No Sex For Single Women Day is the first Tuesday in September because that Monday, Labor Day, should serve as a reminder to single women that their sex should be worked for. In 2011 hundreds of women vowed to stop giving up their sex for free. In 2012 we picked up some momentum and even more women agreed to the challenge. Then 2013, 2014, 2015 and now in 2016 the 5th Anniversary of “No Sex For Single Women Day” we need hundreds of thousands of women to increase their standards for providing no strings attached sex.

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This article is not controversial, it is the truth. Controversy is when the issue at hand is debatable. Truth is when someone (Me) informs you as to how to resolve the issue and you don’t like what I have to say.  ISSUE: Women are ruining the world by giving men sex for free. SOLUTION: Women stop giving men sex for free and save the world. ALTERNATIVE SOLUTIONS: None.

I have great relationships with many of the major magazines. I emailed them all an advance copy of this article before I published it on All of the magazines that I submitted this article to passed. The magazines had a common rejection reason. “Steven this article infringes upon the sexual freedoms of women.” I would respond to that reasoning with “How is the woman’s right to have sex with anybody at any time working out for them? Is the marriage age for women decreasing? Is the number of women getting married increasing? Are the number of children being born out of wedlock (73%) decreasing? Are more men cheating? Who do you think they are cheating with? Who is more susceptible to catching a sexually transmitted disease? Men or women? Who is more likely to get pregnant? Men or women?” Here is the link to the press conference where the official announcement was made about “No Sex For Single Women.”

Every day I get email messages like this from Wives:

  • My husband wants to have an open relationship. Should I do it?
  • My husband cheated and said that I need to accept the fact that men cheat. Should I accept it?
  • I had a threesome with my husband and he is still not satisfied. What should I do now?

Or I get email messages like this from Husbands:

  • My wife doesn’t want to have sex with me.
  • I can’t remember the last time that we had sex.
  • Now that we are married, my wife rations out sex. I use to get as much as I wanted when we were dating.

The world is confused sexually. Too many men are cheating. Let me say that again but differently. Too many men are cheating. I try to challenge men who are cheating and you know what they say to me: “But it is so easy to get free sex from single women these days.” Should men cheat: No. Are men cheating: Yes. Do they know that it is wrong: Yes. Do they care: Sometimes. Who are they cheating with: Your Mother, Your Daughter, Your Sister, Your Aunt, Your Niece, Your Homeboy, Your Friends, men are not sleeping with your enemies. We wouldn’t do that. We have some couth. Too many men are cheating and they are cheating with women who know that they are married. Tiger Woods cheated with 20,000 women. All of those women knew that he was married. Too often women tell me that they had no idea that the man that they were having sex with was married. To that I say he was paying for sex with someone else and you were giving him sex for free. You had sex with him way too soon if you did not know he was married.

Definition of a Single Woman: Unmarried, Unattached, Not in a committed relationship, No title, Not girlfriend, Not woman nor wifey = NO SEX FOR YOU! I’m sorry. I really am. Take one for the team. (←That is a figurative statement. I should probably just take that statement out.)

Here is a theory: Single women are getting sexed out. By the time that they get married, they are not as interested in sex anymore. But guess who is still horny as hell? Your single friends. Especially the ones that are sleeping with your husband.

This article is not merely about single women not having sex, it is also about single women saving their sex for their husbands. Single men should not be having more sex than husbands. I don’t care about the kids, the house, the laundry or cooking. Take care of your husband first and then he will help you handle the household. The average husband should be getting more sex than the average single man. The husband put a ring on it. Single men run through multiple single women getting all of the sex that they want for free. Then suddenly because of some papers and a circular metal object society has the expectation that the verity experienced by the husband when he was single doesn’t negatively impact marriage? Y’all think love changes a man’s appetite for sex?  In the book “Men Don’t Heal, We Ho” on Page 158 the author writes “If you can’t have sex with your husband twice a week you really don’t deserve a faithful husband. You should be banned from getting married. Wives should have to sign something stating that they understand sex twice a week is mandatory. We are talking about the bare minimum here, folks. Twice a week is baseline. That’s easy. Even the bad hus­bands should get sex twice a week.” No Sex For Single Women Day is not for one day. It is for all days going forward. It started on September 6, 2011 and now September 6, 2016 is upon us. What have we learned? I am requesting that single women help me save marriages by stopping the giveth away of sex for free! Here’s why:

Once upon a time I was at a gathering at a friend’s house. 10 men, 8 married, 2 single. At midnight, all of the married men said, “Man it’s getting late, I probably won’t get none tonight.” The single men said, “I am going to send a text out to a couple of chicks. Whoever responds first, she can get it tonight.” Both men received multiple invitations. (I was and am happily married but I getz it from the wife like I am single!!! #AnotherArticleThatIHopeMyWifeDoesn’tRead)

Single woman, you probably still don’t understand. You probably are thinking that you are not the problem because you only give him some one day a week. You have to account for the other six days in the week where he is getting it somewhere else. You are, yes you, YOU ARE APART OF THE PROBLEM.

Send that husband back home to his wife. Send that boyfriend back to his girlfriend. Put your Ex back on the streets. Again, I am sorry that I have to put this weight on single women but it is the only way. You can save the world by closing your legs. As long as men have someone to cheat with it is very difficult for me to save marriages. Is it an excuse? Call it what you want but this is the truth about the current state of relationships. Is there another way to save marriages? Maybe but until someone passes on that solution to me the first Tuesday in September is No Sex For Single Women Day.

No Sex For Single Women Day: First Tuesday in September

NOTE: Any man that is upset with me for writing this article has no control over his team of women.  When I was single, I did not allow any of the women to read this type of trash! #KeepEmUneducated

DISCLAIMER: I asked single men to stop having sex. They said “NO”.


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Other Articles That You Are Sure To Enjoy!

“Stay Married or Die Trying”

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  1. Loree C says:

    Boy, you so crazy…Lol. This is a joke, right? I’m not mad at you for the message, “single women need to stop giving out sex for free”. I’ll go a step further and say they need to stop giving out sex all over the place and/or so easy. I had this 45 year old man tell me recently (first conversation), I don’t know what women think they are proving by making men wait some magic period for sex (last conversation)….but I digress. Married men should be off limits NO MATTER WHAT! Any woman who says she didn’t know that he was married, whether she believes that or not, is guitly of selective recognition. Ladies, you should be able to go to his house…where all his things are…and you should be able to call him whenever and actually talk to him. Stop it!

    However as a single woman I have to ask, where’s the quid pro quo? What do I get out of this deal? What is my motivation to save someone else’s marriage when I don’t have one?? Lol…did I tell you you’re crazy?

  2. Shirley says:

    I absolutely agree and am on the band wagon.

  3. Anetra says:

    You are so right with this. I pledge to having no sex.

  4. Tracie VanBuren says:

    The truth with a side order of laughter! Ladies we have so much more power than we acknowledge or use. Delayed is not denied and sometimes saying no will get you more of the YES responses from men that your looking for in the long run. Steven, I hope the fellas aren’t too mad at ya (real Men won’t be) for keeping it real with us.

  5. Erica says:

    Really, really, really!!!! I agree with what Steven says, and you almost had me, lol!!!!! But now I have turned a deaf ear to relationship advice from a 50 year old virgin. You mean to tell me that in all of those years of serving the Lord he hasn’t sent you somebody, somebody??? I get that we are ruining our own selves with too much sex, but are we also too virtuous? No disrespect but I’ve gone with out plenty of times throught out my life, but at 50 how many men will entertain the idea of abstance until marriage from those of us that are past 40 something. They may wait until a committed relationship, but I don’t know. WOW!!!!

  6. Alicia Murphy says:

    Love Love Love it! This sounds great, September 6th 2011 huh?? I am going to forward this to all my single friends and watch them laugh…I only have a select few that are doing this or may contemplate doing this. We totally think alike on this particular subject. I am already doing just that, no need to wait for September 6th. Celibate 2 years, 2 months, over here…(would’ve been a lot longer, if I wouldn’t have fell for some ole stupid unresolved feelings I had for my ex back then…but yeah I am all over that now and moving forward. My Husband will be the only one to get this gift in the future! Thanks for telling it like it is! Enjoyed your book to…I’ve loaned it to a friend to read, waiting for her to return it…need to re-check a few chapters…lol

  7. Mashonda says:

    Steven, I thoroughly enjoy reading your articles and tweets, and this article is no exception. I agree with what this article is saying and will be putting this to practice to see how things may change for the better as far as finding a quality relationship that’s not soley based on sex. Thanks Steven and keep up the good work (It’s good to stir up some “controversy” every now and then.

  8. Nyko Hackett says:

    True and I agree with this as well. I say all the time that women have the power and can command the respect, so keep it and give it to those that are TRULY deserving.. However, you lost me with your closing sentence “When I was single, I didn’t allow any of the women on my team to read this type of trash! #yourbad”. Allow a woman? Really? If a joke, completely not funny. You couldn’t have just stopped at “Maybe but until someone passes on that solution to me the first Tuesday in September, September 6, 2011 is No Sex For Single Women Day.”? Nothing like a great message that is completely stripped of it’s power by the ever present male ego lol.

  9. Danielle says:

    I get what you are saying about the solution. Honestly, I had the same idea years ago, but unless ALL the women in America & Brazil (you know you brothas love going there for some new booty), it is not going to happen. And married women (in my SJ Dixon voice), don’t start with the “yeah, that’s right,” “Tell ’em like it is” comments. Because truth be told, most of you were sexing Mr. Hubby up for that ring. Stop passing judgement like you weren’t young, dumb, and full of ….well, if you are from the south, you know how to finish that statement. lol. I applaud your efforts my brotha, but the real way to change people is from the inside out. Without a contrite spirit and a clean heart, righteousness cannot take root. People (cheating husbands/wives, mistresses, etc) have to want to live holy above their desires. I’m just saying. 🙂

  10. Danielle says:

    Wow! Good comment. I could see that happening. Single men WILL definitely find an alternative. And those same married women who email TheRelationshipBeast complaining or giving high fives when he comes down on the married men or single women, will be in line for some young stud giving them a fantasy. I’m just saying.

  11. Tamara says:

    I think what the brother is saying is that most single men are not going to intentionally avoid sex. However, if single women start holding out, single men will start picking their game up and doing what they need to do (ie, respecting his woman enough to commit). Bravo.

  12. Tito says:

    Duh…you totally missed the point…if single women would keep their legs closed and stop giving it away then single men would stop having sex as well and man up and do the right thing…

  13. metta4...the poet says:

    Steven, your articles are on point, gritty, and very informative and I would like to discuss some avenues that we can collaborate on. When you get a minute, go to my webpage ( and check out my vision. I will leave my info in your facebook inbox and I look forward to hearing from you.

  14. Anzetse says:

    Its rather ridiculous to expect single women to stop having sex yet you don’t reaaallly expect single men to stop. So who will the single men be having sex with, married women?

  15. Tammy says:

    Once again, some women are selling themselves short by saying they can’t hold out and wait for a a man to respect them enough to marry them. Why is it ridiculous for women to stop having sex in order to show themselves strong?.- this is about real women having the courage and strength to say no!. and as for who will the single men be having sex with?- let them get married, and have sex only with the women they are married to- how bout that?.

  16. PenRob says:

    I whole heartedly agree with this concept. Men are so silly when it comes to sex and relationships. The want a good woman but they treat women like toys.. IF you let them. I made a commitment to myself a long time ago; no sex for me until I don’t have to wonder whether my relationship is socially and sexually monogamous. ANY woman who can’t say NO is just asking to be used. Ladies don’t be tramps, you make it hard for the rest of us… Yes! I said it!

  17. Tammy says:

    Amen!- for all of the grandstanding women do when they talk about being strong, independent, and all the rest, when it comes to sex, they just cave in and say I can’t hold out because men can’t?- don’t use that as an excuse. As a strong black woman, I want my sisters to hold up the banner and say we can do this- we have come through tough times as women- we can do this!- let’s do it together!- show men that we are united in our cause to make a statement- treat us with respect- or step off!.

  18. Professor says:

    This is one of my TOP favorite posts. Keep them coming.

  19. AprilDawn says:

    True… true ….and True!!! That’s what God says too! We should put the old self behind us, Grow, attain Wisdom, and change our past actions! Why keep using Men’s actions as a Cop Out! We are Stronger with this! I’m IN!

  20. Lyn says:

    Really? interesting. I have been celibate for a few years now. Is it hard? Yes. Do I get weak? Yes Do I act on that weakness? No. Why? God. Why? Jesus Christ who died on the cross for my sins and yours, put in a tomb and then rose on the 3rd day. Conviction, determination.

    Woman take your power back and lean on God and carry it out, everyday not just one day. Be a female not a free-male. You got daughters, sons watching you and they will do what you do. Men, be leaders, break the cycle. Just like Adam blamed Eve because he did not man up, God is going to judge you.

    Ephesians chapter 5
    Romans chapter 2
    The wages of sin is Death. Romans 6:23

    Those who choose to cheat on their husbands and wives, not only lied to themselves, family, and friends, they lied to God. The state of the marriage is no longer a serious matter. No respect, just weak minded, broken people hurting and hurting others, damaged individuals seeking out to kill and destroy, the attack of the enemy, the devil and his band.

    Aides does not discriminate. Get tested

  21. LadyJsVoice says:

    I LOVE IT!!! Although I must say I am currently a single woman who enjoys sex very much so and I will NOT be giving up sex I can agree with your concept. 🙂 I make it a point to not be bothered with married men or men in relationships, if I know about it. (not accountable for what I don’t know) But I can agree that we can’t keep pointing fingers at the other person. We each need to hold ourselves accountable for our own actions and how we enable the wrong doing of others. Being married twice I agree that it makes no sense that a married person should have sex less than a single person. If you’re angry give your spouse some and then continue in your anger if you want but never leave him/her lacking in that area. I could go on & on about this topic but I digress.

    1. LOL! Great response! Shout out to you! LMAO! This is Steven

  22. mochakisses says:

    I dont care about this crazy mess I sleep with married men so what !!! its not like Im messing up anything they usually go back with wifey eventually its a fair exchange I get some good __ and he gets satisfied. Now if he wants to compensate me for my good good by all means who am I to stop him.

    1. Sunny Gibson says:

      Mochakisses, nope, it’s not the truth…it’s just the truth as you see it and how you want to believe it to justify your behavior. What I ask women that are dating a married man to do is to put yourself in the wife’s place for a moment…if you were the wife, do you think you would feel the same as you do now? My husband cheated and the other woman knew he was married, but didn’t care because she was in love. However, when he started doing the same to her, she cried foul.

      Essentially, her attitude was that it was okay for him to cheat and lie to his wife, as long as he didn’t do the same thing to her. But what goes around has a funny way of coming right back around. I divorced his cheating behind and told her she was welcome to her, but did he want her? Nope! And do you know why? Because he knows what kind of woman she is, the same type of woman you are…loose, with low morals, with no respect for yourself or anyone else, and probably suffering from low self-esteem. Women like you need to be made to feel that you are better than other women, when you know you’re now. You need another woman’s man to validate you so you feel like you’re worth something, when you don’t even realize just how you have devalued yourself just that much farther. I could go on, but women like you come a dime a dozen and are easily replaced.

      1. R brown says:

        Why are you bashing the woman about sleeping with a husband? Your issue should be with the husband that you have legal papers with. It is not her fault that the husband lacks self control and can not be trusted. The wife should have done her homework and ensued that she was not marrying a cheater. It is not the other woman’s job to help the wife make/keep your husband faithful. He should have unshakable confidence in his relationship with his wife. He should be committed at all times not allowing any outside influences into his marriage. Put the blame where it needs to be. Spouses need to keep a pulse on their relationships. What it takes to get the spouse, it will take more to keep them. So don’t get lazy and think that everyone cares about your marriage as much as you do. Spouses benefit from the success of the marriage not mistresses or outside boyfriends. Think about it.

        1. How long have you been married?

  23. […] Read the complete article: No Sex For Single Women Day: First Tuesday in September […]

  24. mochakisses says:

    Ok since Steven wants to me on blast on Twitter… I dont exclusively date married men, what I was trying say was if I meet a man that I’m attracted to and I find out he is married Not my problem I’m not concerned about whats going on in his personal life. For real I’m not the problem Married Women need to step up or shut up. If every married women was doing her job and doing it right then I wouldnt be a factor like it or not but its the truth!

  25. Ms. Dockery says:

    Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!! I’m single and been doing this for 3 years and the men think you should just give it up since MOST women are. Sorry I will be saving it for my husband and he can get it more than 2 times a week! Thanks for sharing this with single women!!!!

  26. DrLCJ says:

    This article is so on point … RAW TRUTH … lots of wisdom nuggets! Sadly, the average man think that a woman should just give it up since MOST women are doing so. Well, that’s not happening with me. My “sex” is on RSVP for my Husband only and he’s going to get it anytime he wants, whenever, wherever, however, and as long as as he wants it! So until I’m “Mrs. (Dr) LCJ ???” he ain’t getting nothing! :^)

  27. Trina says:

    Agree for the most part. Question: If single women stop having sex altogether then who are the single men having sex with, married women?

    1. Who cares who the single men have sex with. How about this article encouraging people to reserve sex for relationships? How about we slow down sexually transmitted diseases? How about we have less kids out of wedlock? How about sex ruins one less relationship?

  28. Ms. BoNiFide says:

    Well I am glad I got mines in before Sept 6…lol. Shoot my bday was Sept 2 so I had to get a cherry on my sundie…lol. But I do not do marry men and Steven you are right. So let me see if I can give this a try….NO SEX..Whew. GOD help me. LOL

  29. Chantelle says:

    Is this real? This can NOT be real. Not only is it unbelievable that you find it necessary to “hurt feelings” to defend your position on an issue….It’s 2011 and we’re still making sex shameful and pretending that paperwork legitimizes your relationships and intimacy. Even more unbelievable. I’ll bet you aren’t in favor of prostitution…just women not giving away free sex. Should we barter it? Exchange it for a few carats and a promise of lifetime fidelity hoping that my husband doesn’t fall in the acceptable male cheating quota? I’m single. And if there is a god I was somewhere having multiple orgasms on this day of no sex to make up for the single women not getting any and the wives who were waiting for one of those 2 days to come around. Don’t worry though, I didn’t do it for free, I’m sure he at least bought me diner. SMH.

    1. Men will exchange sex for dinner all day. Men are #winning.

    2. Theneo83 says:

      Sad Sad Sad..I have read many articles but this one is SMFH. Now please do tell why single women should not be having sex? How about this Mr. Dixon…how about anyone who is married should remember there VOWS to God! No one is suppose to have sex if they are not married PERIOD! This is Gods word..not a public ploy to attract more readers. No one forced any man or woman to stand in front of GOD and LIE to HIM in front of the general public and the state. A lack of dicipline and taking God’s word forgranted is the problem not a single woman lmao. Thank goodness this isn’t biblical what you are speaking because aren’t you married? Don’t you know scripture? Why haven’t you used God word when YOU were married TWICE under God’s LAW? Were the first set of vows not good enough. Don’t blame women or mankind for a lack of personal dicipline buddy it is just dumb.

      1. You are 100% right but I am 100% reality. Go ask the average single man to stop having sex and let me know what he says. Go find a husband who has cheated and ask him how easy it was to find a woman that was willing to give it up. I am not excusing the behavior of men or husbands. Those who cheat are 100% wrong.

        1. Theneo83 says:

          No God is 100 percent reality and no one else. It doesnt matter what you think or mankind thinks. If you are a “Christian” and you say that in front of the general public you are saying that you follow Christ not your own reality. When it comes to God’s law…meaning adultry, fornication, premartial sex etc the only one who is accurate on it all is God. You and I both know about the lake of fire if you don’t do the right thing by God. So do you think you will scare off your fan base if you are using God’s word more often instead of your own? Use his word and stop bending the truth. If you are couseling women and men on marriage I hope that you are using God’s word and not your own since it was God’s spirirt that united them in the first place and who they also took vows in front of. I dont need to ask anyone to stop having sex and neither should you. Let me go to God for help on releasing them from strongholds and spiritual warfare that has them binded in satans trap in the first place. Lead people to God’s word and not your own opionion and you will see a change in your audience and trying to set people free. Are you trying to set them free or hold them hostage by your own reality? What would God say about your ahem ministry? Do you accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and savior? Are you using the platform that God has given you to help his people see The Lord words in there lives or only Mr. Dixon’s words? I follow your articles but it deems confusing to read the articles from a man of God and he doesn’t even talk about God. Honestly I wouldn’t be doing God’s work if I did not deliver this message to you…Use his word and watch things change for you…Only for the better 🙂

  30. Wow! U right. And u funny as hell! Truth. I have been abstinence for a year now. Basically spiritual reasons. No! A man didn’t break my heart, its not that easy to get. It was more about my love for God. Then its about my self respect. Men don’t want nohing else, but what’s between my legs, so #save the world! Keep em closed. Yea sex feels good and all that, but all the drama afterwards..its not worth the feeling of an orgasm that’s flows through your body for 30 seconds, if that. I’m not having sex again till I’m married. I know God is going to send m a winner. And Steven, why u talking bout women..Men should stop having sex too! Lol they shouldn’t be taking advantage of the situation.

  31. andre says:

    this article is spot on..the truth is men respect women that are ready to say no to sex..i dont think there is any man that doesnt want to get married to a virgin..the only difference between some single women and hookers is that the hooker gets paid..

    1. R brown says:

      [this comment is for andre] So hookers get paid. Then why do men get mad with gold digging women, but don’t mind paying hookers, strippers and pole dancers. The Secret Service do not count. They are dumb… didn’t want to pay 50.00.

  32. Aaron1988 says:

    I’m a 22 year old guy from England and I am giving up sex and i am going to be compleately chaste until I’m married. I have never had a one night stand and I have never even kissed someone outside of a relationship, but I hate having sex without commitment (read:marriage) so from now on (haven’t had sex in almost a year as I have been avoiding it because I felt I had to but not anymore) a girlfriend will only get a peck on the lips at the very most until we say I do, so the next (3rd) person I sleep with will be my wife. Will it be hard to abstain? I don’t know and I don’t really care to be honest because love, commitment, marriage, my future children and wife are worth so, so much more than sex before marriage, and I can’t wait to find the love of my life, my soulmate and finally get my happily ever after.


    1. Good for you Aaron. Reach out to me every six months and let me encourage you!

  33. […] say “women are ruining the world by giving men sex for free,” and suggest women go on a “sex strike” to force men to commit. The notion persists that, for women, sex has a trade-in value that starts […]

  34. Mr. Perfect says:

    Mr. Perfect Says:

    Here is something you all may find humorous.. A few days ago Mr. Perfect was at his restaurant where a female aquaintance and her sister (who happens to have a thing for Mr. Perfect) came to visit. We were having a discussion about men and women and such when Mr. Perfect brought up the notion of “women ruining the world” as SJD puts it, which is an argument that Mr. Perfect tends to agree with. Mr. Perfect then proceeds to school them on how it is too easy for men to get sex and the problems that it implies. They are in agreeance…

    Fast forward to 2am and Mr. Perfect is getting it on, I mean ALLL the way on, with the sister of the aquaintance IN the restaurant. Lol. Now this is an otherwise upstanding classy lady… Funny thing is, she brought the conversation up during foreplay. Like, “werent we just talking about how after the man gets sex he has fufilled everything he wants out of the relationship??? Yet in still, she gave it up… SMH… Yea, its wayyy to easy out here.. But hey, decent guys are in short supply so many a woman are taking whatever piece of a relationship they can get. Just goes to show you.. The universal laws of economics are irrefutable! Ha!

    1. I don’t even have a comment. She was forewarned. I can’t do anything more than that.

  35. Kelley says:

    I love reading your blogs, posts, etc. I wish some women would truly wake up at least while they have youth on their side and stop wasting their valuable time with “TIRED BROTHERS” Yes I said it cause I have did it and this is a voice of experience. Keep the good stuff coming Steven, much luck and I hope to hear you speak in person one day.

  36. Baldheaded Fool says:

    LOL, it doesn’t matter to me. I’m now divorced and more into solo sex now anyway. I get it every night, lol. But I will say out all of my friends, its the married ones who are the most unhappy and sexually frustrated. The single guys and soloists are doing just fine.

  37. ArizonaDoc says:

    Once again, women are called upon to act as the grown-ups and responsible thinkers for men. Now, somebody please remind me why men are supposed to be treated as the leaders again…?

    1. Baldheaded Fool says:

      you misunderstood the point. women aren’t expected to be leaders but reserved in their sexual behvaior. see my comment below for why this would benefit men, women and society.

  38. ibukun says:

    I wish…..

  39. JustAGuy says:

    me and my girlfriend regularly have sex and it is incredible and she is great and i love when she wants it; we are getting married so I am a little worried that would stop or be less frequent where to me it makes sense that you would have more sex cause now your together you can spend more time together,etc it is like adding 2+2 more time with the woman i love equals more opportunities for sex, which should equal more sex not less sex.

    I am a little worried about getting less sex but for me that isn’t what it’s about. I do love her and it took a little while but she knows i love her and sex with her is lovemaking not just sex so I hope that would change how often we have it when we get married. I myself liked the article. When I was single I didn’t have sex as for me it didn’t feel right like if my heart wasn’t in it I couldn’t have sex. I don’t think it’s that hard to say no to. If woman are always saying there independent and stronger than man, and all that why can’t they say no sex wouldn’t they feel the same way as i do since sex is just more than physical satisfaction (it’s more than that to me) so why can’t single women say no to it if I could. Yeah when I was single there were a lot of attractive woman but i wouldn’t want to have sex with them because that isn’t who I am, and sex is something bigger than just physical satisfaction.

    I think if single woman could say no to sex or giving out free sex as you put it, i would hope it saves more marriages cause i agree married men should be having more sex not less cause it’s with a woman they love, that’s why they got married, I know for me I want to make love to my woman as much as i can as often as i can cause i love her (simple right) so if married men want it for the same reason they should be having more sex not less sex it doesn’t add up

    As the woman at the top (first comment) she said what does she get out of it. What single woman get out of it is respect not just for themselves but wanting sex for the right reasons and you get treated better that way in a relationship. You know how much it sucks when you get in a relationship and fall in love and you have sex with that guy you love and he knows you had sex before or you give off signs your not a virgin. It sucks for the guy makes him feel not manly like he can’t satisfy you and it doesn’t make it feel good cause you already had another guy or other man so what you get out of it is a way better sex life and respect. A better sex life cause now he wants to please you as much as he can, make you feel good, turn you on, be the only man you want to bang, he wants to rock your world but if you already had sex it makes all his efforts in bed feel useless. Think about it.

  40. Jas says:

    Dude! God Bless you!!! This is good. I agree 100% of what you are saying. God intended for sex to be for marriage. It was a gift God gave and he intended for it to be good. It’s such a spiritual thing, it’s not even all about the physical. I know for me it is. I am a young woman and started having sex at 17 and stopped at 20. I realized that it was more hurtful to me to be having sex with a guy who wasn’t sure I was the one for him and different dudes who I meant nothing to and vice versa. Plus I felt used. I agree with you Steven. You are doing a great thing. And even though it’s difficult at times keeping myself, I know in the long run it’ll be worth it. I believe in a Mighty God who will give me the desires of my heart and will point me in the direction He has predestined me for.

  41. […] instead of you. There’s also this guy, who declared a “No Sex for Single Women” day in September 2011. So I can’t be mad at the Twitter gurus. They’re just jumping on an […]

  42. Tracy says:

    Why should men get married? It costs them financially, sexually (lack of variety), and emotionally, esp. if it doesn’t work out. The fact is, men are used to “making deals” and if it is not good for them, WAY GOOD FOR THEM, they won’t do it. Like my husband says, a lack of sex over time drive most men mad, so why a woman would give it out, is beyond me. Sure, ladies, you will go through hundreds of rejections, but if your goal is marriage and kids, find a guy who is looking for that too. Like I told my husband, hmmmm, no ring no sex. As his first wife was unfaithful, he was ready for a girl with convictions. With him 15 years and still happy.

  43. Baldheaded Fool says:

    Nothing but good things can come from single women being more reserved in their sexual behavior – every day of the year. Men will respect women more, women will be more ladylike again, STDs will decrease, out of wedlock births will decrease, emotional scarring will decrease, relationships will be exciting for men again, more will be left to the man and woman’s imagination, child support drama will decrease, crimes of passion will decrease, and most importantly (lol) no more Maury or Jerry Springer!

  44. Moreen says:

    Your blog has greatly encouraged and empowered me. I do feel though even though your advice to women is spot on, that you are not doing enough to straighten and correct the brothers. Somehow you put it like the accusers of that woman caught red-handed in sin. The crowd brought the woman. The bible says she was caught in the very act. So where was the other actor she was doing the act with. It goes both ways. As much as to stop the distraction women need to be reserved, I believe men would make a greater impact by abstaining and helping stop the negative stereotype that they can’t live without sex, and that to them it does not matter how and with whom they get it from.

    Having said this, does not mean that ladies are justified to be available even to the guy you are in a relationship with. This blog has helped reinforce the lessons from my mother and grandma. Ladies, if he wants you, he will pursue you. If he misses you, he will call, text, email you. Our women instincts when we are dating, take over, and we find ourselves leading the relationship, often at our own peril. But if we will follow his lead, we will truly know where his heart is in relation to us. But we get caught up in chasing these men, that by the time we realize that he does not like us, we have wasted so much emotion, time and effort into somebody who never cared as much. Ladies sit down. Let him call you, let him email you. Let him visit you. Let him initiate. That is how you’ll know if he’s into you. Perhaps the best way to know his intentions about you and your relationship. If does not do any of these things then we don’t lose anything because we did not invest anything. The hurt feelings come when we are the only one working the relationship.

    When chasing two things happen: you either catch your prey, or are left huffing and running out of breath, out of strength after a hard workout of chasing. That is too much work for any self respecting lady. Let him choose you, and want to be with you. If you contact him that much, how will he miss you? Let him work to get you. So your value, worth and price of having you is much higher. Having done all of the above, allowing him to chase you, and not be sexually available will help your odds of you being his ultimate valued price.

    1. Look for these articles on my website and tell me again that I am not doing enough to straighten out the brothers. I wrote a book for men.

      The Relationship Report – “The State of Manhood in America” – Part I
      The Relationship Report – “The State of Manhood in America” – Part II
      Check Your Male

      1. R brown says:

        I am all for reading books. I buy eBooks all the time. But honestly do you think that men are going to slow down and read? They are to busy sexing single women and having sex 2 days a week with a spouse. When do they have time to read?

  45. QT says:

    Well I applaud you. I don’t know if it will work. I will try but I do enjoy sexual activity. I have ventured to the wrong side also. I am currently dating a married man. I have never done this and never had interest in doing so but a friend became a lover. The first Tuesday in September I will step up to the challenge—pass or fail!!!