Last week we talked with the wife, Michelle, about forgiveness. I believe that all spouses can be forgiven for anything if they show remorse, agree to get counseling and they recommit themselves to the marriage. Today we are trying to figure out if Scott has met those criteria to gain forgiveness.
How are we doing today Michelle?
“I just don’t think that you can fix our marriage Steven. I am so angry at him. I don’t want to see him, I don’t want to talk to him. I just want him to go away. Of the three things that you laid out in order for me to grant forgiveness, he has only done one! That one is contacting you and I don’t know how much credit I can give him for that because he has contacted counselors before and nothing has ever changed. He has not shown me any remorse. He has not changed. He cannot recommit until he has changed.”
He has taken full responsibility for all of the troubles in your marriage. That is the first step in my process of developing leadership within a man. I have talked to Scott a number of times since you and I last talked. If it is ok with you, I would like to invite him in right now . . .
“He is here?”
I knew it would be necessary for him to apologize to you in person so I asked him to come back and meet with us again today. Is that ok?
“I guess, if he is here.”
Come on in Scott. I have this list in front of me of 54 things that you have done wrong to your wife. Were you aware that she had this many problems with you?
“I know that she is mad at me about a bunch of stuff but I had no idea that it was that much.”
You have been a horrible, horrible husband. No woman should be subject to the things that you have put Michelle through. You let your family question Michelle while she was pregnant on if the baby was yours?!?!? Are you serious? Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you defend her? What were you doing? You were sitting right there, right?
“Yes, I was. I was in shock. I couldn’t believe that they said that to her. I was in shock. I couldn’t say any thing. I know I should have said something. That was my fault.”
As her husband you are responsible for her security, safety and protection from all things and everyone including you and your family. By not defending Michelle what you did was say to both her and your family that your marriage comes second.
“I know. If I could go back in time and fix it, I would. Man I have messed up a lot. I have apologized. I am learning. I’m sorry. Just tell me what to do and I will do it because I love my wife today more than I have ever loved her before and I know that everything is my fault.”
Don’t tell me. Tell her. We need from you right now the most heart-felt apology that you can deliver. Look her in the eye and tell her how you feel. Can you do that? We are looking for remorse here, Scott.
Do you think Scott is going to be able to deliver a heartfelt apology? Do you think Michelle will believe him? This should be interesting! Tune in next week for more of “The Divorce Is Not An Option Project.”
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