The Divorce Is Not An Option Project – Hudson Family – Week 7

Steven James Dixon May 9, 2012 Comments

We left off last week with Scott preparing to give Michelle a heartfelt apology for the man and the husband that he has been in the past. Let’s jump right back in . . .

Scott, Michelle doesn’t believe in you anymore. I can’t believe you for her. You have to convince her yourself. And from the looks of things, this probably needs to be your last apology. Your last apology because you will be perfect for the rest of your life or because Michelle decides that she cannot forgive you. 3 . . . 2 . . . . 1 . . . GO!

“Michelle you know I love you, right . . .?”

Stop right there! This is not a time for you to ask Michelle questions. This is a time for you to tell Michelle how you feel and to tell Michelle why you will not make the same mistakes that you have made in the past. Tell Michelle what is going to be different about you in the future. 3 . . . 2 . . . . 1 . . . GO!

“Michelle I love you. I have always loved you. I have not always known how to express my love for you. Steven has taught me that love is an action. It is not just something that you say or feel, it is something that you show. I have learned that showing someone that you love them is something that requires consistency. I have not been consistent and that is something that I will correct immediately with the help of Steven.” (Scott looks at me. I look at Michelle . . . I wait for her response . . . nothing.)

That’s not good enough Scott. What else you got? Explain to Michelle how we talked about the reprioritization of your life.

“Michelle from this day forward you are my #1 priority. I am sorry that it has not been that way in the past. I was taught that my first family, my mother, father, brothers and sisters were more important than you. I know now that I was taught incorrectly. You are #1, #2 & #3 now. I will never again choose anyone in my family or anything in the world over you again. I am sorry. Please give me a chance to make it right.”

(Michelle says) “I refuse to believe you. I am afraid to believe you. I am afraid that if I allow you to hurt me again I will go crazy.” (Michelle starts to cry.) “I just can’t take this anymore. I’m sorry but I have to go.” (Michelle walks out.)

All we can do is give her some time and space Scott.

. . . Later that day Michelle moves out. A month later she files for a legal separation. I meet with Michelle a few times one on one but she cannot bring herself to forgive Scott. Three months later she files for divorce. I repeated said the Michelle, if you cannot forgive, you cannot be married. Michelle decided that she would rather be single then forgive her husband.

Every single marriage can be saved. My job as a Relationship Expert is to find the problem  and offer solutions to fix the problem. I have yet to counsel a couple where I couldn’t pinpoint the root cause of the unhappiness in the relationship. It is just too often that the husband or wife does not want to work hard enough to fix the problem. All I can do is lead couples to the water. (If they sign a waiver I can make them drink the water.) People that I counsel always say to me, “Marriage doesn’t have to be this hard.” To that I say, “Marriage is not hard, what you are doing right now is admitting that the role of being a husband or a wife is too hard for you!

The Divorce Is Not An Option Project – Hudson Family – Week 6
The Divorce Is Not An Option Project – Hudson Family – Week 5
The Divorce Is Not An Option Project – Hudson Family – Week 4
The Divorce Is Not An Option Project – Hudson Family – Week 3
The Divorce Is Not An Option Project – Hudson Family – Week 2
The Divorce Is Not An Option Project – Hudson Family – Week 1

 

Follow Steven James Dixon on Twitter: @StevenJDixon.


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Comments

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  2. Marlena Williams says:

    I have followed the Project since day one because i believe in the foundation of marriage. I was so intrigued because i am Michelle, I was Michelle. hurt, humiliated, betrayed and abused my husband. it hurts you to the core and sometimes you dont know how to get past the hurt and anger. you dont know how to see the light at the tunnel. i was hoping that michelle and scott would have found a compromise and moved forward. but somewhere in the back of my mind i knew the answer. after so many apologies, when is enough enough?

    1. Steven James Dixon says:

      It was very disappointing for me. I had high hopes for them. I felt that they just needed some help. But Michelle was damaged beyond whatever Scott did to her.

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  4. mztellis says:

    Ughhh was really hoping Michelle would have stayed and worked this out. My seperation has been hell but what else can you do when its a one sided fight. Hope just got a little more dim, somethings said or done can they ever be forgotten.

  5. same spot says:

    I am in the same spot and I’m leaving there hasn’t been any changes and I don’t even think he’s willing to but I want to know how do I not become bitter?

    1. Steven James Dixon says:

      Setup a counseling session with me: StevenJamesDixon.com/Counseling

  6. sxyluving says:

    I am so disappointed to read this. I had such high hopes for this couple. I had hoped that Michelle could give him one last chance. However, her husband blew it with his inability to get past himself until it was too late. You don’t miss a good thing until it is gone. He lost her. He lost her with every ugly phrase in the past, everything he refused to do or change. Women are very forgiving people. But we do have our limits. I am so happy to see that someone, Mr. Steve James Dixon is willing to say what needed to be said light years ago to men…It is a man’s responsibility to hold his relationship together. Marriage is an honor. Being a husband should make you proud. Keep up the good work Steven. I hope that Michelle will reconsider one day if another man has not stolen her heart.

  7. Uncle Zo says:

    This was crazy !! Some how I hoped too that Michelle would give my man Scott 1 last ”get right’. But for real…the more I analyze Scott’s apology,I realize he’s a YES MAN ! Seems he has never learned to think on his own. I think he’s sincere,I just think he lacks more backbone….which is what Michelle needs more of.
    I want to say this though. THE DEVIL IS BUSY. God honors marriage & the devil is the author of confusion. Once you realize this,you can decipher the enemy’s attempt at throwing you off your marital purpose. Something about praying together ,seems to spark a fuse inside of a marriage that neither partner even knew existed. I think if Scott had of been more of a leader or the HEAD of the marriage,he could have won his marriage over.
    But let me leave you all with this!! When you say you love someone,to the point that you find yourself saying, ” I DO”…then learn to love that person where ”they are” in their lives. If you cant deal with their social activities & views,dont do it! If you hold them at a high standard..you’ll be disappointed EVERY time. At Scott defense,I must say..” You cant love someone that dosent wanna be loved” !!

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