The Extra Ordinary Man vs. The Extraordinary Man

Steven James Dixon April 18, 2011 Comments

The Extra Ordinary Man vs. The Extraordinary Man is a concept that I developed that saved my marriage. Basically there are three types of GOOD men. I assume that there is no point in talking about bad men because everybody has either been one or had one. The three types of good men are Ordinary, Extra Ordinary and Extraordinary.The Ordinary Man will work hard and hold down a decent job. He will pay his tithes, bills, save and invest. He can cook, can clean and maintain the house. He will take care of the cars and the lawn. When the Ordinary Man becomes a father he will do his part. He will do all of the ordinary things that a husband would do.

The Extra Ordinary Man compares himself to other Ordinary men. He is not interested in doing or being Extraordinary. He is only interested in being better than her last guy. He is basically only doing a little bit more than the Ordinary Man because his woman asked him to. The Extra Ordinary Man is the guy that does the job of the Ordinary Man and then adds a little extra by paying all the bills and then thinking that money makes for a happy, successful relationship. “I pay all the bills, I don’t know why she is not happy.” How about the guy that says, “I am home every night,” as if being home every night counts for something. What’s funny about doing just a little bit extra, is that it is extra of the same. It’s not more, it’s extra. It’s not better, it’s just extra. You may hear an Extra Ordinary Man say, “I do my part,” but to be Extraordinary it is not about what you do, it’s about who you are. Too many men are focusing on what they are doing instead of developing who they are as a person.

I was an Extra Ordinary Man. To become an Extraordinary Man I had to develop my person. I had to become more man. The problem with being an Extra Ordinary Man in 2011 is that the 2011 Woman wants an Extraordinary Man, whether she is Extraordinary, Extra Ordinary or Ordinary. Seems unfair initially but after careful analysis of the structure of marriage a man must come to the realization that God left Adam in charge. Additional responsibility comes with being in charge. Additional sacrifice comes with being in charge. To be in charge means that you are charged with being Extraordinary.

The Extraordinary Man will never put his hands on a woman. Any man that would hit a woman is afraid of the woman. Why else would a man involve himself in an unfair fight? All men should feel like they are good for taking on at least five women at a time.

The Extraordinary Man does not argue with his woman. Men, understand, the more that you argue with your woman, the more she loses respect for you as a man. If your woman is always arguing with you it’s because she thinks that you are a woman.

The Extraordinary Man is open to allowing his woman have the last word. Women need to express themselves. Be man enough to listen and not have what she says effect your manhood. A woman cannot take a man’s manhood. A man can only give away his manhood.

The Extraordinary Man is open to apologizing first, every time. Men, remember that you are in charge. You are responsible for problem resolution. You cannot be a part of the problem. Apologizing first doesn’t mean that you are wrong, it means that you are man enough to accept responsibility for whatever is wrong. Apologizing first is leadership by example.

The Extraordinary Man does not require extraordinary in return in order to be extraordinary. Did Michael Jordan expect all the other guys on the team to play like Michael Jordan? Being extraordinary is an internal challenge. Every day men challenge themselves to be the best lawyer, doctor or businessman but they are not challenging themselves to be an Extraordinary Man. To be a Husband is to be an Extraordinary Man. All husbands are to strive to be the absolute best that they can be.

Sometimes I wonder if God chose to do it all over again would He still leave man in charge.


  1. Jubic says:

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  6. Lyn says:

    It goes back to one of the first things God did; he created man in His image. What does that mean? If one does not study the word of God, one would not know. They can only guess and make moves and in making some of those moves, they get it wrong. Trail and error. Most of us woman, myself included have a distorted concept of man. Not because we don’t know, it was because of the men we saw growing up and have had in our lives. I wondered really at a young age, why? At an older age I began to listen to man talk, walk, act or not act. After learning Gods word I got it and I am still learning. Man being created in Gods image is power, strength and more power.

    When God said for woman to be submissive, that does not mean we follow the man, regardless. A man to be a leader in the way he lives and speaks his life determines the direction he will go. A godly woman will not follow a foolish man, though we do and some still are for the sake of having a man. Most men are fatherless in the fact that they had no role model to immolate so they created their own way of being man. Woman can not, can not and again can not teach a boy how to be a man, woman can not be a father. Not possible regardless of the situation of being a single parent. Women have taken the role to a whole distorted level creating an imbalance in the union of man and woman. Woman should really listen more, we woman talk to much at the wrong time.

    So on point Steven, men must develop and redevelop themselves everyday. They must educate themselves through Gods word and using plain common brain usage. I just made 49 years old and I have yet to be acquainted with a man of any kind of substance thus causing me to remain single, because God did not create mess, I wait and while I am waiting I am also working on me. Now this does not mean I can not share my views and ideals with a man, I do. Do I do it in a way to belittle a man, no I don’t. I challenge them with the way I choose to live, with boundaries. I challenge them in a way that lets them know, I will not settle for the arrows of sateen. And in doing so, I openly and lovingly let them know that, hey, you can do better and this is why. The choice is there’s to either grow up with their heads up or follow the status quo, angry men stuck in a world that will continue to change. Our people are lost for the lack of knowledge.

    Good read.

  7. Krystal says:

    I was once in a marriage where my ex husband used his hands, mouth and teeth as part of expressing himself. After being bit on the leg and spit in the face, of course at that point divorce was MY final answer. However, I had a conversation with my mother when I first decided to file for a divorce and she asked me a question that so many women like me probably ask themselves AFTER the marriage is over. Did the real (husband name) stand up? No, he showed me who he was before marriage but like so many other women, I ignored the SIGNS. So, I am sharing this quote with everyone who is dating. I have found it to be so very true and substantial especially in the dating game. “When a person shows you their face, believe them!” This is for men and women. Thanks Steven for all the informative information.