The Holiday Weekend Relationship Test.

Steven James Dixon April 18, 2011 0

“The Holiday Weekend Relationship Test” is about the common mistakes that women make when they go home with the boyfriend to meet the family. Men don’t usually introduce any old gal to his family. If you meet a man’s mother and father he has brought you along far enough for you to close the deal! If you meet mom and dad that means that you have almost passed all of his tests, so now you just have to pass the family test.

 Scenario #1: Weekend With Your Boyfriend’s Family.

You are going home with your boyfriend for the weekend to meet his family. All weekend long you are nuzzled up under your boyfriend doing whatever he does and watching whatever he watches on TV. He watches football all day long on Saturday. You don’t even like football but you stay right in the family room with your Boo. Meanwhile, his Mom, granny, his sister, his aunt and his niece are preparing the big holiday dinner in kitchen. You don’t go in the kitchen. You are too busy loving on your man. You feel that you have to show his family how much you love him so you continue hanging out with him, his brother, his dad, his uncle, his best friend, his frat brother and his cousin. WOMAN, GET YOUR BUTT IN THE KITCHEN AND MAKE YOURSELF AN ADVOCATE! HE DON’T EVEN WANT YOU WATCHING THE GAME WITH THE GUYS! GO AWAY!

The holiday weekend is not a time to try and show how good a girlfriend you are to him. It’s a time to show how good a woman you are to them. This is your tryout. It is time to work. Get focused! What would your mother do!?! Better yet, what would your grandmother do!?! Time to close the deal. Time to impress. Put your best foot forward. They are not trying to get to know you, you are supposed to be getting to know them! You want to be a part of their world, so you have to get in where you fit in. The first route to a man’s heart is through his stomach. The second route is through his family. If you fail this test, your weekend could end like this:

As you are driving home Monday morning, you are telling your boyfriend how great his family is and you ask him if they said anything about you. He says, “My Dad thinks you are lazy. He said that I need to find someone more like my mother. My mother said that you don’t add any value to my life. My granny asked me if you could cook. My sister, aunt and niece asked if you had arthritis or something because you never helped in the kitchen. Say, do you think you can walk from here?”

WARNING: This section of the article is for Official Facebook declared girlfriends ONLY!  

Scenario #2: Labor Day Party At Your Boyfriend’s House.

It’s the Thursday before Labor Day.  

Boyfriend: I am thinking about having a get together at my house on Sunday.

You: That sounds like a great idea! 

Boyfriend: I will probably fire up the grill and barbeque.

You: That sounds like a great idea!

Boyfriend: I will get the meat on Friday on the way home from work. I can get every thing prepared on Saturday so I only have to barbeque on Sunday.

You: Ok.

Boyfriend: Ok, talk to your later.

You: Bye.

Too often when I was single, I dated women who either didn’t have their own ideas or they thought that all of my ideas were better than theirs or something. They just went along with whatever I said. A woman without ideas does not have an identity. Before the boyfriend hangs up the phone, the woman has to jump in and say, “This is what I am going to do for the party.” A man can’t tell you how to be a woman and a boyfriend shouldn’t have to tell you what is needed for the party or what you can do for the party. As a girlfriend, if you don’t know what you bring to the table, he won’t either.

On occasion the woman I married changed my barbeque into a sushi party. She would change my pizza party to a finger food party. I was used to only serving dinner to my friends. She started making me include a dessert! She would take my little idea of a get-together and make it into a banquet!  All of the signs were there that she was going to change things and take over. Right before the guests arrived for our first gathering as boyfriend and girlfriend we had this confrontation:

My Girlfriend: What are you wearing?

Stud-muffin, Me: Wearing where? Everyone is going to be here any minute now.

My Girlfriend: Go take a shower and put on some nice Hosting clothes.

Stud-muffin, Me: What are Hosting clothes? LEAVE ME ALONE WOMAN!!!

My Girlfriend: Go!

She added value to my life. Every opportunity that presented itself for her to show the quality of woman that she was she took full advantage. I was used to screaming at the top of my lungs, “COME INNNNNNN!!!!” She would do weird stuff like greet guests at the door. I was used to screaming at the top of my lungs, “BYYYYYYEEEEE!!!” She would do weird stuff like walk guests to their cars.

A girlfriend is never a guest at a boyfriend’s house party or barbeque. The girlfriend is the Co-Host. The man shouldn’t have to tell you that you are the Co-Host. A Co-Host brings multiple dishes to the gathering. The Co-Host gets to the gathering early and leaves late. The Co-Host is co-hosting, she is not having fun, she is entertaining, she is working. She can take out the trash. She can bake a cake. She can clean as she goes and stay cute at the same time. She can make a beer run. If you can’t Co-Host a party, you can’t Co-Host a man’s life!

WARNING: Again, this section of the article is only for Official Facebook declared girlfriends.

I used to hate when women who were my guest, used to do stuff around my house as if they were my girlfriend. Those women were sent home early without a doggie bag!

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