The Relationship Report – “The State of Manhood in America” – Part I

Steven James Dixon January 11, 2012 0

The State of Manhood in America is at an all time low. This article is going to redefine manhood for men. Nearly every day you can find me on Facebook @StevenJamesDixon or Twitter @StevenJDixon trying to explain to men what manhood used to be, what it should be or what it can be again.

1960 – Many of the husbands during this time did not want their wives to work. It was a status symbol. The wife did not work because the man made a bunch of money. Man provided. He was the family’s only source of income. He could beat his chest. Everyone could see that he was the man because his wife didn’t have to work. If a new house was purchased, the man would get the credit. New car, man did that. New furniture, man did that too. Vacation? “Oooh gurl, you got a good man!” In the early part of the Sixties, accolades for men who provided for their families poured in by the ship load. With the male ego being affectionately stroked, man’s manhood remained fully intact. Intact until manhood ran into an Army of Independent Women. So I pulled together a group of young ladies over the age of 50 who were Army brats. I asked these women a simple but thought provoking question:  “What was the catalyst that started the deterioration of manhood?” After some deliberation the ladies decided that the man changed when the woman started making more money.

1963 – The “Equal Pay For Women Act” was passed. The “Equal Pay For Women Act” positively impacted money but negatively impacted marriage. On the day that the woman started being able to pay the bills, on that day, the male ego started missing hugs. Manhood took a hit. The man felt like he was less of a man because the woman was obviously more woman. She now had more to offer. Up until 1963 women were pretty much only frying bacon but after 1963 women started bringing home the bacon. If I could go back in time, to 1963, I would add an amendment to the “Equal Pay For Women Act.” The amendment would read like this:

“Man can fry bacon. It’s ok. Bacon is not sexist.”

“The State of Manhood in America.”

As she grew, he became smaller . . . not to her, but to him. As she evolved, he became lost. Lost in his own perception of himself. His perception was that she did not need him as much as she used to. His perception was that the only thing that he brought to the table was money. The money that she no longer needed defined his manhood. Henceforth man decided that he did not need to work as hard or provide as much as he once did for woman. She is an equal now. And you know what, she can provide for me!

1970 – During the 70’s the now “desegregated” black man was going through the phenomenon known as “The Man Holding A Brother Down.” So now it became that wives had to work because husbands couldn’t find a job. Women could find jobs. They could be maids, teachers, nurses or something along those professions. The black man had to be highly skilled to maintain a job during the 70’s.

1973 – My father lost his job. With no money coming in he lost his transportation. With no transportation he could not find another job.

1974 – My father unsuccessfully tries to rob a gas station as a means to provide. When I was born, he was in prison. I have never met him. No one in our family knows where he is, including his mother, my grandmother. My father is still alive . . . somewhere. (Scientists have been unsuccessful in proving that manhood is a gene that is passed on genetically. Manhood is not a part of a man’s D.N.A. but rather his mindset.)

1975 – The working woman was in full swing. When the woman left for work each day a piece of his manhood left the house every day too. It was very common for one of two things to happen during this time period:

1. Wife was working. Husband felt less pressure and relaxed. Stopped working as hard. Stopped progressing on the job. Lost his motivation to out work the next guy because the next guy’s wife was working also. With everyone’s wives working, there was no measurement of success . . . to the man.

2. Wife was working. Man is looking. He can’t find anything. He becomes frustrated. Many, many, many women talked to me about abusive husbands from 1975 – 1985. Woman became stronger. Man felt weaker. Man could no longer control a woman with a job and her own money. In an effort to control her, he abused her.

Now of course there were some excellent God-fearing, wife-loving, family-providing men ALL throughout history. Those of you who did not bear witness to what I am talking about here are blessed. Before you start disagreeing with me, go do your own research. Talk to a woman over 50. I believe that manhood is defined by how you love and provide for your wife and family. So I wanted the woman’s viewpoint. The woman’s grade of the man per se.  From her point of view…WHAT . . . WENT . . . WRONG??? Take this article for whatever you feel it is worth. Whatever percentage that you are comfortable with believing in is fine by me. The bottom line is that “The State of Manhood In America” is at an all time low and we have to get to the root of the problem. This is my effort to get to that root, pull that root and plant new seeds. In Part II of “The State of Manhood In America” I am going to unveil a new definition for manhood.


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