Why Men Have To Go To Church

Steven James Dixon December 2, 2011 Comments

Men have to learn what love is before we can feel it or provide it. Too many fathers never learned what love was so they couldn’t teach their sons about love. Since fathers are not teaching sons about love, then love has to be taught from the Source. The Source of love is God. I learned in church one Sunday that the only true love is agape. Agape is God’s love. Agape is described as a selfless love felt by Christians for their fellow human beings. In order to love some one else, you must first love Christ. You can only love other Christians through your love for Christ. Men have to go to church to learn about love. There is no better place to learn about love than the Christian Church.

It is important that men learn about love at the church so that they can appropriately spread that love throughout their family at their homes. One of the major problems that we face in marriage & family today is that love and the focus of love is often times being misplaced. We have too many husbands that love their mothers more than they love their wives. We have too many husbands that love their children more than they love their wives. We have too many husbands that are in love with too many other things. “I love hanging out with my homeboys watching the game. I love my job. I love my business. I love my money.”

I am here to tell you today that I don’t love anything else until my wife is full of my love. All of my love is reserved for her and the world (my son, my mother, my stuff, my things) receives only the love that is left over. My pastor instructs us to “GIVE ALL TO YOUR SPOUSE.” God gives us all. God gives us all to give all to our spouses. It is us who decides that our spouses don’t deserve all. To those who have made this decision to not give all, I am also here to tell you that this decision is not yours to make. God gives all. God does not decide on a case by case basis who gets all. Every one gets all, all the time. A husband should never decide not to give his all to his wife. A husband should never decide not to give all that God has given him to give his wife. This is why men have to go to church. This is why men have to learn what love is. This is why men have to learn how to love because we have to learn to give our spouses . . . all.

Our purpose here on earth is to grow closer to God until we join him in heaven. You can’t grow closer to God while playing X-Box with your homeboy. Money, jobs and business will never get you into heaven. Not saying that a man can’t have or do other activities, I am just saying to prioritize and love your wife. Give your wife all that you have. Give your marriage all that you have. Divorce is not an option especially when kids are involved. We have to keep our families together. I am here to save marriages. GET IN THAT CHURCH HOUSE SO YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO LOVE YOUR WIFE!!! (An e-offering plate is being sent to your email box as you read this article.)

Most men, me included, need some type of measuring stick of exactly how to or how much to love our wives. Your baby girl, your son or your mother can be used as your measuring stick. If you don’t love your wife more than you love all other people in your life you are out of accordance with God’s word. The wife is #1. That is where you have to start. Once I started thinking like that, I challenged myself daily. I asked myself, “How can I love my wife more?” Every day, how can I love more, how can I love more, how can I love more and I figured it out. It starts with me.

All relationships and marriages are either successful or they fail based solely on the leadership of the man. It does not matter what the woman is or was doing wrong. If the man takes on the marriage as his responsibility . . . if the man stops pointing the finger . . . if the man can be a consistent lover of God . . . if the man can make the woman feel loved . . . the woman will naturally fall in line. YOU CANNOT TELL THAT WOMAN TO GET IN LINE!  You have to show her that you are already in line, you got to be in line already. She will be watching you. After you have been in line for awhile she will join you.

Men, don’t go to just any old church. Find a church that you enjoy and a Pastor that you respect. Chose your church like you choose your wife. Ephesians 5:25-27 says that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church.


Follow me on Twitter: @StevenJDixon


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  2. KRYSTAL says:


  3. You preach, Bruh Dixon! I said Preach, boy! You be taking us to church sometimes, but today you put us right smack on the front pew. The usher didn’t care where we wanted to sit. I love this one. Will be tweeting and FBing it!

  4. April Dawn says:

    ************EXHALE********** oh How I wish you raised up the generation of Men I’m left chosing from!!!!!!!!!!!!! No, but Seriously, men do need to go to Church. We are all influenced and it’s either good or bad influence. If GOD is not the Source of our influence, it’s a BAD Influence! (messuring tape). And I’ll be the first to say; women need to stop IT TOO!! Stop going to just Any Ole’ “people’ for influence and Direction! “Any Ole’ PEOPLE” Will more than likely steer us wrong or (accidently) misguide us even if they Do Have Good INTENTIONS! People won’t Always Paint a Clear Picture for us Like SJD does So Well…….!!!!!!!!!!!!! And you do so well, cause You Do It With GOD!!!!! You Just GO!!!!!!

  5. April Dawn says:


  6. S. R. Dukes says:

    I really enjoyed reading this article. You hit the nail right on the head. I have been married for 5 yrs and my husband (who was raised in the church) acts as if he is scared of the church. Don’t want to go. I feel it would help our marriage. His mind would be in a better place. He wouldn’t do the dumb things that he does. He would respect and love me like a man is supposed to. Im almost at my wits end with him. Keep telling it like it is Mr. Dixon!

    1. Sounds like it is time to find a new church.

      1. Mike says:

        Thats putting it quite simple

    2. Sounds like it is time to find a new FAMILY church. A church is a place where both husband and wife should be happy to visit and worship together. Find out if he doesn’t like church or is it that he doesn’t like the church that you go to.

  7. Vlora says:

    At last! Somentihg clear I can understand. Thanks!

  8. Charnell McNeil says:

    WOW! That was an AWESOME article. I just sent it to some male friends to help them along the way. This was so encouraging. Unfortuntely, my husband left me 6 years ago and married the woman he was cheating with. God is good because now the Lord is my first love. It’s been 6 years and I’ve learned to LOVE and FORGIVE so I can move forward in meeting my BOAZ. I didn’t want to stay in the marriage so he divorced me and I moved on to be FREE and HAPPY IN JESUS!!!

  9. Josh says:

    I agree that if you take on a wife, then she needs get the majority focus of your love and that focused love combined with her love for you will allow you to take on all obstacles together. I just don’t agree that men have to go to church to find it. Its common sense and I don’t need a pastor or scripture to teach me that. In fact, I’ve found the opposite in several different churches and scriptures. If some men find solace and answers in this, that’s great, but I think it is wrong to tell men this is the only way for men to know and learn how to love.

    1. I will give you that it is more important that a man learns how to love then it is important about where he learned to love.

    2. Mike says:

      Well said Josh.

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