Woman You Bet Not Eva Cheat On Me!

Steven James Dixon June 2, 2011 Comments

 Be sure to check out Steven James Dixon talking about this article on “The Michael Baisden Show” on Monday, June 6, 2011.

A friend of mine once told me that his girlfriend admitted to fantasizing about another man. It hurt him to the core to hear her admission of a thought that she once had. My man was distraught over her revelation for months. Finally one day I asked him why he was so hurt over his girlfriend’s confession when he had already acted out her fantasy of being with another person on multiple occasions during their relationship. He said that one thing had nothing to do with the other. He said he wishes that he didn’t cheat, but that he couldn’t control himself. He said he felt she was doing it purposely to hurt him.

Let’s all take a moment to laugh. . .

The honest truth is that women deal with cheating better because they have either experienced it or observed it. Growing up I heard rumors of the males in my family cheating on multiple occasions. I have a huge family. Twenty-two uncles and aunts. I have never heard of any case, situation or possibility of a woman cheating on a man in my family. As an adult, I have male friends who are cheating instead of reading this article at this very moment. I too was once a cheater. This is not to say that women don’t cheat, because they do, but compared to men, the cheating of women is few and far between. With cheating by women not being as significant, when it does happen to the man he is totally unprepared to handle the indiscretion emotionally. He is totally blindsided.

I cannot recall, not one single time in my life, where I thought a woman was cheating on me. Not while dating or married. Part of the reason may be because that thought would never cross my mind. If my wife didn’t show up at the house tonight I would just assume that her cell phone died or she got lost or something. NO WAY SHE IS OUT CHEATING ON ALL THIS!!!! Furthermore, lie to me, I don’t wanna know.

I actually covered this topic in detail in my book “Men Don’t Heal, We Ho”. Here is an excerpt from the book:

“What’s funny about men is that I have found that the average man will not even consider the possibility of his woman cheating on him. I talked to men who were actively cheating on girlfriends whom they loved and may one day marry and many said they could not even begin to entertain thoughts of their lady being with another man. You know why a man cannot think about another man being with his woman? Because then we would have to be emotional. We may be mad, sad, depressed, disappointed, and/or embarrassed. We would definitely be emotional. Then we would have to deal with those emotions because if we love the woman like we say we do, the pain of her being with someone else would stay with us for some time.

A man who is cheated on takes the incident personally. It is a direct slap in the face. It is as if your woman is saying that this other man is more man than you are. This other man can do something better than you can. This other man is providing me something that you cannot provide me. It is not the same for women. If a man cheats on a woman, it could be just because free sex was available. We do not evaluate if the woman that we are cheating with is more woman than the woman we have. In most cases, we are cheating with a woman that is beneath the level of the woman that we already have at home. We aren’t trying to marry ‘em. We just want to hit it.”

Now here is the shocker. . . I think that women are going to start cheating more. I repeat, I think that women (besides my wife) are going to start cheating more. It makes sense. It is the natural progression of the independent woman that is tired of being cheated on and disrespected by the man. Women are tired of our crap. They are growing stronger, making more money and drinking milk. Seventy percent of new divorces are being filed by women. They are smarter than us, they are better cheaters. They are actually getting away with the cheating. I don’t believe that the average woman wants to cheat, even the ones that are cheating. The women that have confessed to cheating to me are doing it because of a lack of attention from their loved one or to get back at their love one for cheating on them! LOL! This is funny right here too, . . . so the woman is catching the man cheating, punishing him for cheating and then she cheats on him to get even but he don’t catch her! It’s the double whammy! Women are so sneaky!

Men, we have to stop cheating before we create a monster that we are not prepared to deal with.

Other articles that you may enjoy:

11 Things You Need To Know About Men & Relationships


“Men Don’t Heal, We Ho – A Book About the Emotional Instability of Men” is now available on RelationshipBeast.com.

– Audio Book Available on iTunes.

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  1. Article Posted to MyHoustonMajic.com says:

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  3. Article Posted to TLCNapTown - WTLC says:

    […] I actually covered this topic in detail in my book “Men Don’t Heal, We Ho”.  To read more and to see the excerpt from the book Click Here: […]

  4. Jah says:

    I am a female with 5 brothers and this article couldn’t be more true. Love it!

    1. T.Ford says:

      I realize that this article is a generalization, but what would you say to faithful men who married women who cheat? In my life I have known more married couples who’s wife initiated the act and the man would start until it finally ended in devoice.

  5. Article Posted to KissDetroit - 105.9 says:

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  7. DivineDiva79 says:

    What I am noticing is that more women are saying “the hell with relationships” period, because it appears just to be a surefire way to get hurt and played at some point and resort to no-strings arrangements or just shifting the focus to other areas of their lives. I was in a relationship with a man who I believed cheated on me throughout our on-again-off-again six year relationship, but he had major insecurity issues and always worried about me cheating on him the entire duration of our relationship. I was never unfaithful to him, but the accusations and jealousy got to be way too much and I broke up with him. I had granted him a lot of grace on so much that had nothing to do with my suspicions of infidelity on his part. During a year-long breakup though I did sew my own wild oats though and when he found out about it when we got back together he reacted to it as if I done it during the relationship LOL!!!

    1. Ms.Dee says:

      Of course he did. That’s a man for ya! Whew that’s a long on again off again relationship. I get a little disappointed when I hear women say “to hell with it.” I think “nooooo don’t give up just evaluate what you have been doing and fix that.” Anyway, I wish you the best!

  8. Michelle says:

    I find this article so true on both halves, I have been cheated on by my husband. First as his girlfriend then as his wife. Men you don’t realize what you do to women when you break trust in a relationship! You tour us down for us to rebuild ourselves. Watch out how a women rebuilds herself!!! Lol

    1. DJ watts says:

      Michelle….please note that if you started out with a man who has a wife or girlfriend there is no room for trust and you are at a higher risk of that man cheating on you. The fact that you were with him when he was with another and then the two of you married, mean that your position within the relationship has changed from lady #2 to lady @1….but you must realize that your man may be tempted to fill that position #2 spot again. Bottom line is that a man who is in a relationship but still wants to hook-up with you may not a good man to be with ….let alone marry. We as women are very strong and can make it through almost anything. Best of luck!

      1. NikkiWho says:

        DJ watts she did not say she started off with him while he was involved she said she was cheated on as his girlfriend and as his wife.

    2. Prudence says:

      Hey, you’re the goto expert. Thanks for hanging out here.

  9. C J says:

    When did this become NEW, NEWS.. Where have you people been and why does it take someelse to make it an awareness to get your attention…

    To much is brodcast on the media to get people moving to open or closed thoughts about what is not really cheating.. What is cheating??? If you can really put a meaning to it then you are dreaming too.. Everyone or anyone can tell you the samething if you just listson..

    There can be no Cheating as it’s call if there was really anything there from the begining.. So many think a man is a fault, but many women have and do the samething… You always want to make a man responsibile, both have ownership to the change in the relationship.. She has to do what she did in the begaining as well as he.. Only understand Change can be initisted by both… Everything Changes, nothing stay the same…

    1. DJ watts says:

      You are right….Everything changes …nothing stays the same. But I don’t agree with you (or anyone else) who saids that a person must do what they did in the begining of a relationship to keep a relationship going. I’ve been married 22yrs and I don’t want to do all the things I did with my husband 22yrs ago. A relationship is suppose to grow, as do the maturity level of both partners. This only means that you should find new and exciting things to do. I feel that sometimes a man (or in some cases a woman) uses “change” as a reason to cheat. There is no reason a person should cheat while in a relationship….we are all adults…and if change is too much for an individual than that individual should be grown enough to let their partner know….communication is the strength of all marriages…without communication the bond of a marriage is bound to fail and wither away.

  10. Sadonia says:

    As a woman who has been cheated on and who has cheated, i can say i cheated for self satisfaction after i was cheated on, so i broke it off with my cheater, not because i was cheating, but because i never felt satisfied from cheating.

  11. Corianne Williams says:

    Your article is so true….I am Happily married…wasnt always… and i am tired of the way men have treated us women…so the reason that a women would cheat is like you stated to get even and she would get away with it..because we are sneaky…great article

  12. Larry says:

    Hi Steven,
    I spoke with you today on the Michael Baisden show and enjoyed what you had to say on the topic of men staying with their woman if she cheated. I have written a book on the topic of cheating titled “How to cheat and not get busted” an interesting look at the lengths men and women straight or gay will go to to keep their deeds done in the dark from coming to light. The book gets into the psyche of the cheater as well the one being cheated on.
    From the everyday couples to celebrities and politicians. It’s a must read with a bite of the reality.
    Hope you check it out feel free to visit the facebook page for “How to cheat and not get busted”
    Take care

  13. I think there are different factors or circumstances during the relationship period that makes a men and women cheat. It is much more complicated than what we think it is and if we value relationships, we should take time to think about it… Thanks for sharing this!

  14. Maggie says:

    Suodns great to me BWTHDIK

  15. Ms.Dee says:

    Haha women are definitely going to cheat more! Women have been doing it a lot more than men think. Do I think it’s right to cheat? Heck no! I feel sorry for those people out there hurting their souls. I’m on the fence with the boyfriend/girlfriend cheating because, in my opinion, those people are not really committed to you anyway unless there’s an agreement to be serious (marriage).

  16. Kenisha J says:

    Please post this on Facebook. I keep telling women “we are not Men” we cant do what they do. I dont care how “strong and independant we are , we are not men, Please share on face book


    1. Letsbereality says:

      Women cheat all that time hun. This ‘we are not men we cannot do what they do’ crap is for the birds. More than likely your granpa/great uncle/etc. was raising a child or two (or three or four) that wasn’t his. And you probably have some brothers and male friends who are doing the same. As fun as it is to play victim, women aren’t the emotional punching bags for men that people make us out to be. Women don’t get rolled over and disrespected without getting theirs. Trust me.

      It may not be all over the talk shows and hell it may never come to light so the man may not even face public humiliation of having been cheated on, but a woman will get her personal satisfaction, even if she’s the only one that knows about it (which is what we prefer anyway, since its not purely an ego thing for us like it is for men).

  17. Finally made it through to your page, Steven… I sure do love reading your works.

    1. sjDixon says:

      What up Jenks!

  18. Ms Jones says:

    I have been cheated on and I have cheated. However, I kept asking my man was he cheating and he kept saying no. However, most woman realize that we have an intuition and I used it. When he didn’t tell me the truth I found someone else. A year later I told him that I cheated on him and why. He was upset when I told him now he is all over me

    1. Loryn says:

      Dude, right on there brohetr.