Should A Woman Ask A Guy Out On A Date?

Steven James Dixon April 19, 2011 Comments

In 2011 it maybe necessary on occasion for a woman to be a little bit more aggressive. Just a little bit more assertive and  ask a man out on a date. I am not suggesting that a woman should pursue a man.  I still believe that the man courts the woman. Ok? We good? Woman all you got  to do is let the man know that you are interested and available. That’s all I am saying. If you can make sure the man knows that you are interested and available without offering to take him out for a slice of cake, more power to you. Today I am going to define for you what types of dates a woman can take a man out on and provide for you some tips to consider when contemplating asking a man out on a date.

TIP #1: Don’t Waste Your Time.

Stop dating married men. Please review my article “Why You Loooooove Dating Married Men”.  Just stop it. No excuses. Every day that you spend loving someone else’s husband. or man, or boyfriend or  is another day that you won’t have someone of your own to love you. Maybe you don’t want to be loved. Maybe you don’t deserve love. But if I find out that you are using these tips to pickup married men . . . I AM COMING FOR YOU! I GOT YOUR IP ADDRESS!

TIP #2: Identify your match.

Everyone should have or develop an idea of the type of person that they attract. If you see a guy that reminds you of an old boyfriend, maybe you will remind him of the new girlfriend that he has been dreaming about for the past few years! Matches are not initially perfect. A perfect match takes skill. Identifying your match could be something as simple as knowing yourself. If you are always at the library, one day you will meet a guy that is always at the library also. (Or maybe you will be out at the club and meet a librarian.)

To women that are having problems meeting men . . . I am going to tell you where all the single men are and there are NO WOMEN THERE! Ok maybe one or two women are there for every fifthteen single men. Can you guess this location?  IT’S THE GYM!!! SINGLE MEN ARE AT THE GYM! GO THERE! ASK THEM TO SPOT YOU AND HELP YOU LIFT THE REALLY, REALLY HEAVY WEIGHTS! Ask them about weight training. Ask them about dieting. It doesn’t matter if you already know the answers to the questions. You are not asking the question for the answer anyway. It is called filtering. It is an ice breaker. Your mother and grandmother may have needed a man more than you do but they were a lot more fun than you are also. (My woman is old school, love her to death!)

TIP #3: Have a plan.

I came up with something for women called “Light Dating”. It’s not a big deal to ask a guy out for dessert is it? Reserve dinner for his invitation. I guess that we can call the opposite Heavy Dating. I guess. I am making all this up as I go. Have a plan. Light Dating is about not spending a bunch of money on a guy that you may not go out with again. Light Dating is defined as (On hold with Websters right now to get this term added to the dictionary) a friendly date. A get to know you date. Not a nighttime date. Not a “I might want to have sex with you date.” Not a movie. Not the club. Some place where you can talk. Some place where you can get to know a guy. You can take a guy to the museum, the aquarium or out to get some ice cream. Something during the day. If you ask him out for a drink, make it early 5PM to 6:30PM.

TIP #4: If you want something, you have to ask for it.

Nita a man won’t knock on your door and ask you to marry him. If you want to get married you have to DATE MORE! If you want to DATE MORE, occasionally you may have to ask a man out. If you are rushing through the grocery store and you see an attractive guy HE WON’T APPROACH YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE RUSHING. It’s 2010, be a big girl and go over and say “Would you be interesting in having a cup of coffee with me?”

TIP #5: Be confident & assertive.

Confidence is attractive to everyone. There is a certain amount of respect a person pays another person who is assertive. Your assertiveness will set the tone for the potential journey. Scratch that, let me keep it real and say it like this: There is not a woman on earth that is more sexy than an confident, assertive woman. (I wanted to hit you with that G.A.W. right there but I am a big time celebrity now and it is important to make y’all believe that I don’t cuss.) I know that you are afraid of being rejected. So what! Men face rejection every day. When I was single, I would sometimes get rejected by women that I knew weren’t good enough for me! She was the last single at the party. She looked bored. I had on a suit. I mosey over and she tells me to go away. I’m like “But I’m me!” Same thing as a woman going out on a charity date with a guy. All of us have done something that we were not suppose to be doing in our dating life!!!

If you follow these four dating tips I promise that he is going to say yes. He will say yes that he will go out with you or yes he is riding his bike to Mars.

The biggest problem with dating right now is that women are so focused on marriage that they are not good at dating. Many women are sitting around wondering when they are getting married instead of coming up with creative “Light Dates”. At least once a week I have to say to a woman “Your relationship will get back on track when you guys get back to having fun. The more you talk about getting married, the more stress that both of you feel. Go do something fun together”.

Let me apologize right now for tomorrow’s article. “What Single Men Think About Single Women”. Men, if a woman randomly cusses you out tomorrow it’s because she read my article.

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Comments

  1. Chanel Ellis says:

    Great perspective and very well written! This is a refreshing approach to dating and networking in general. I take this approach as well and I have to admit, I really enjoy my dating life!

    Good job, Steven… keep up the good work!

  2. Bonita Walker says:

    Well Steven, I will be trying out the tips of dating in 2011. And gym here I come..lol. Thanks for the tips. Ready for the next book.

    oh yeah..allowed my beastie to read the book and now she does not want to give it up. I had to go get my book. She must get her own.

    1. sjDixon says:

      Last weekend a lady made me autograph a book that wasn’t hers! Her friend let her borrow it and she told her that she would send her the money.

  3. gail edwards says:

    thanks again steven. i am sure this will help me along as i journey along to find love. yuou advice has been a big help and good insight. i will be texting you alot now because i want to approach this in a positive way. gail

  4. MsM says:

    Anyone tried this yet? How did it go?

  5. Thought invoking, and I will need to ponder it more.. bookmarked. Aspire to see a good revise quickly!

  6. Charlene Poulain says:

    Thank you for this article.
    It’s been two months and I have trying to ask this guy out. I totally can’t. After reading this, I may man up and do it. I feel like it is the most difficult thing I have to do, it’s freaking me out and I play rugby and see him at the gym all the time, I can barely say hi. But thanks again for the article.

  7. christina says:

    Loved this article. I am just getting back into dating. I want to live , life and have fun. I do not want to get married, but I am old fashioned and do not want to have hook up after hook up. I want to have fun, and I love men. So your Article, was just what i was looking for. Thanks!!

  8. Tiffaney says:

    Okay, Steven, I’m 49 and I still believe, a man, should ask you, on a date.

    Men, approach me to go out and they pay for lunch or dinner.

    I’ve never paid for dinner or believe in dutch. Why should, I…I’m old school.

    This has worked for me. I don’t pursue, men. Why and I’m not aggressive.

    I’ve read your book and I’ve used some of your tips…other things you mention..I’ve been doing that…

    It also, depends on they type of man, you come across.

    My thoughts, thanks, for all your guidance…

    1. Did you read the article? I said a woman can ask a man out for a cup of coffee. I did not say that a woman should take a man out to dinner.