I was at the church-house and as usual, Pastor was GOING INNNNNNNNNNNNN! My Pastor said something that blew my mind. He said that, “It’s more of a thrill for women to chase men than it is for men to chase women.” I pondered on that for a second. My Pastor is 100% correct. I think about all of the women who contact me every day about their relationship or marriage. Honestly, most of the time I want to say to them, “Why are you putting up with that mess!”
In my head I am thinking. . .
It is a wrap on your relationship or marriage.
In my heart I am feeling. . .
Compassion for your feelings. Empathy. Everyone deserves happiness and to be loved.
In my memory. . .
I remember that men can change. Men can grow and evolve. Men can be great husbands and fathers. But your man has to want to be a great husband or father. You can’t want it for him. A woman’s encouragement of a man to be greater means almost nothing if that man does not want to or think that he can be great. I wanted to be great. I am great.
The Thrill of The Chase in men for women is reasonable. Let me explain. You have a man who’s eyes are impressed by the figure of a woman. Men are visual. This woman becomes his conquest. Depending on the characteristics of that man, (not quality, characteristics) that man can measure and put a percentage on his chances of completing his conquest. When I was single, 9 out of 10 women in the building any given night would be mine if I so chose. I was handsome, I had a great smile, fit, I had the gift of gab, advanced intellect, great job, made six figures, home owner and my car did not have a top. My thrill is 90% achievable. It’s not really a chase, she is standing right there waiting for me to approach her.
In contrast, The Thrill of The Chase in women for men is unreasonable. The two “Chases” are different. Men chase women that they do not have a relationship with. It is new. It is unknown. The woman that is being chased could also be curious about the man chasing her. The male chase has the potential to lead to a relationship or better yet a sexcapade. (Sexcapade = Free sex. No work, no commitment, no chance at a fullfiling relationship.) The woman is not chasing a new man or a new relationship. Too often, the woman is chasing a proven to be bad man or a proven to be failed relationship. Man’s Chase has potential. Woman’s Chase lacks potential (the relationship has already failed once if not twice or thrice). The Thrill of The Chase in women actually is a chase. He is leaving, you want him to stay. He is cheating, you want him to stop. He doesn’t want you, YOU . . . CAN’T . . . STOP . . . WANTING . . . HIM.
To Be Clear:
Man is chasing someone new. New has potential.
Woman is chasing someone old. Old has already shown that he lacks potential.
Dear Mr. RelationshipBeast although we’ve never been on date we have had sex.
Dear Mr. RelationshipBeast we got into an argument and he beat the crap out of me.
Dear Mr. RelationshipBeast my man seems to be content in collecting unemployment, hanging with the boys and smoking weed.
Dear Mr. RelationshipBeast my man is always on Facebook, Twitter, and Skype having conversations with other females.
Dear Mr. RelationshipBeast I’ve been the other woman through TWO of his marriages.
Dear Mr. RelationshipBeast my man moved back into his mama’s house. He is back smoking weed and playing video games all day. I actually caught him with another woman and left him but I always start to feel sorry for him and take him back.
Dear Mr. RelationshipBeast throughout our entire relationship he has never been capable of being faithful. Last year he started an affair and they have been intimate ever since. He has told me on several occasions that he will end the affair but he never has. So I moved out but I still sleep with him from time to time.
Dear Mr. RelationshipBeast I am dating a married man who is possessive of me. Why doesn’t he want me to date anyone else? (Is it just me or is this funny? For some reason, this is funny to me.)
Dear RelationshipBeast this married man comes over to have sex with me once or twice a week.
Dear Mr. RelationshipBeast I have been dealing with a man for the last 12 years who has also has been in a relationship with another woman for about 17 years.
The Thrill Is Gone
Dear Mr. RelationshipBeast when I met my Husband he was married. He cheated on his wife with me. Now, he is cheating on me with another woman.
I have a lot to teach men about relationships and marriage. Remember my principle is, “All relationships and marriages are either successful or they fail based solely on the leadership of men.” I am going to teach men how to be leaders in their marriages, families and communities. I am working on them. But women y’all have got to help me! Y’all have got to stop chasing the thrill of having ANY OLD MALE, not man, ANY OLD MALE in your life. Stop worrying about men chasing women and start worrying about women chasing men. If it is not you, it is your sister, it is your mother, it is your auntie or it is your friend that is on a sexcapade. STOP CHASING MEN! The thrill is not worth the pain. You cannot catch us. We will stiff arm you. I am the RelationshipBeast.